Back - a BIG m-fing way

It's been a while since I posted.  Transition to a new crib in a new part of town.  New computer after the other one flipped out on me.  New office.  Re-organize.  New clients and partners.  Exciting and terrifying at the same time.  But I feel good.  Back to exercising.  Back to diet.  Ready to kick ass.  Stay tuned to this space.  It's about to be a muthafucka.  The Spirits deem it so.

Gving Thanks, Post-Celebration

The thing about holidays is the "post" aspect of it.  As in the aftermath.  Cleaning up and coming down.  Like the song says "back to reality."  In these weird ass times, "reality" is a bitch. 

At least the moment of "holiday" can be, and often is, wonderful.  If you look at the word, it's basically "Holy Day."  A day of holiness.  Not in the religious sense but of being wholistic.  The state of "whole," i.e. you being you.  Notice how much embracing occurs during holidays.  That's you embracing various aspects of you.  Why don't we do it more often?

Doesn't music sound better during holidays? 

The best time to try some foul shit is during holidays.  People are so intoxicated by happiness, food, and alcohol that you could start a war - and they have - but they wouldn't care. Why?  Because most people are focused on themselves and things/people close to them.  Only the diabolical think of this shit (i.e. Nixon, Kissinger, Cheney, Thatcher).  You could raid a village or break into a house and start shooting at sunrise. 

Holidays were very often depressing for me because I was not with family.  Now, it's just a time to watch some football.   Everything else is a bonus.

Members of the wife's family came by and enjoyed what had to be one of the finer moments of cooking we created.  

Then there are my boys, the Oakland Raiders.   They stunk up the television against my mother's favorite team, the Dallas Cowboys.  Goddamn!  My mother became a "saved" Christian a while back.  So she didn't talk too crazy to me.

We missed our annual sojourns this year.  Weird times.  Usually make that drive to see Moms, grandmother, aunts, cousins, and best friends.  Gotta get back right side up.

The mind is not only a terrible thing to waste, it is an awful prison.  The mind is a hard place to break out of when you don't feel like you.  I advocate exercise and a walk in the open air to release yourself if you don't feel like you. 

Why are they fucking with people?  Jobs and shelter.  Fucking with people's self-esteem.  Are they that fucked up in their own head that you have to pass that along?

I am thankful for all the experiences - good, bad, and fucked up.  They make me me. 

I love you muthafuckas!

Giving Thanks, Pt. 8

So my wife's mad at me.  Too many beverages but those are the breaks.   I'm thankful for her and all that she has contributed to me and my life.  She is a beautiful person and spirit.  I don't know where I would  be without her.

Cooking my ass off.  You should be here.

I really love my cats from HU.  Those cats are life-lines

Speaking of life-lines, my son is one.  Football is my shit.  He's killing my fingers playing catch.

Chef D, thanks for the lifeline.  Love you, bruh!

Tracy Rice - what can I say?  You took over Todd's spot.  I need you and your love.  Thank you!

Jay Barry.  That was REAL bitchtified!  One day you will learn.

Scott Evans, thanks for being a brotha!  You have my loyalty.

Long-lost loves.  It was real in my mind and there is love between us.  I just don't want an ass-whupping from Angel.  She's very strong!

Like Duke Ellington said, "Music is my mistress."  Words, too.

Kathleen, I hope you have a better 2010 and beyond.  Thanks for your Spirit.  I hate what has occurred in your Life.  But you have helped a brotha out.  BIG TIME!  Thank you!

Giving Thanks

When you have difficult times, a life-line is much appreciated. There are folks who throw you lifelines and don't realize it because they are just being themselves.  There are people who eschew the lifeline but blast noise just being themselves.   And when you need that life-line, the masturbating noise-makers expose themselves.

To all who have offered but couldn't deliver, no worries.  Your offer was beautiful and effort sincere.  At least you care!

To all whom have constructive advice carved out of caring and love, THANK YOU!  We will try to implement but these are weird times.

To the random well-wishers:  Your love and admiration is much appreciated and inspirational.

To the Raiders: PLEASE win the rest of your games!  I need stress-relief!

To all you beautiful-ass friends: THANK YOU for all that you do to sustain a brotha!  I truly appreciate you more than you know or appreciate.  I love you guys!!!

Raider Nation - Excitement Pt. 3

It's about goddamn time these cats started to play up to their potential.  Me and my homeboy, Barron, watched the sheeit with jaded eyes.  But our boys came from behind and played some offense.  Defense was there, too.  I think we lucked up that Cincy called some boneheaded plays but we gave some games away doing the same.  Especially with DuhMarcus, I mean, Jamarcus at qb.  We wasted a season trying to get him to play ball.  Should've seen the writing on the wall during his laziness off-season and the Denver game.  Dude has no accountability in him and that will cause you not to grow. 

I think we get in the Cowboys' azzes next.  They can't score and we have a qb who gets it now.  Hopefully, Jamarcus learns his lesson and stops wasting Al's money and the Nation's time.

Giving Thanks

To my main man, Eric Easter, a cat with whom I share birthday but who represents what an editor is supposed to represent  - a person who suggests what works.  Thanks E-Money!

To my JPC refugees:  My main man, Brian Gilmore, with whom I wish I could spend a weekly lunch.  Vee Fusiller, a cat who has taken it to the next level.  Would love to go through his album collection.  Monroe Anderson.  For his emails that suggested I might be on his level - humbled.  Del Walters for making me realize there's always harder than you,  Loved the brief encounter during the Conventiion last year.  Terry Glover, my sista!  Love you and how you and E made me work for it!  Not enough credit for you two!

Now before we start crying, that's enougn

Some Rare Excitement

The past month has been difficult emotionally for me.  We will elaborate in a hard hitting piece soon.  You know we will deliver.  But it's been difficult for me to write, really, for the past year.  I promise you will receive more DeAng, and not the subtle DeAng either.

My boys pulled one out today.  Watched the game on the Sunday Ticket with my son.  Got him some Martinelli Apple-Grape for his Raider glass with some Cheez-Its and Oreos.  My favorite moments are watching a Raider game with him with his drinks and snacks.  Damn the outcome - it's the Moment.  Only two seasons left before he's gone and those moments will be gone.  Crying on the inside.

What can I say?  The Bengals, like the Eagles, were sloppy and underestimated the Silver and Black.  Defense has always been good.  Just need those high draft picks to step up.

I really cannot express the love and joy I experience with my son during these moments.  Thanks Barron!  For being you.  I 'll keep trying to be a better me.

Stability

Stability.  Who doesn't crave it in some form?  Unless you're Miles Davis, you want that wall, that ground to understand yourself, that launching pad, that landing ground, that resting place where you are are you.  That place to hug your kids and your spouse.

That place of meditation.

Stability.

Then THEY mess with it.  Like a frat playing mind games.  I'm too old and polished for mind games.  I don't play mind games and never have.  I'm direct.  That's why we didn't pledge.  I don't care if you did and there's no judgment involved.  Some of my best friends pledged.

They want consumption but they keep interfering with your ability to consume.  You want to come home and enjoy a glass of wine while watching your favorite moment.  And they disrupt your moment of stability. 

Because they induced you into their crap-out?  They still have loads of money but want you to pay off their lost bets?

And so this is where we are as a society and economy?  Why am I burdened with your bad decisions?  We are all burdened by poor choices, why am I burdened by yours?

Being imperfectioned humans means we all have to choose.  Otherwise, we'd know the answers before they were questions.

We have habits and things we rely on to be in the place that we want or place them.  Then there's now.  Where folks mess with mess with your stability.  Where they play games with what you worked hard and sacrificed for.  Out of greed.  But all you want is stability.  To get your feet under you.


Stability. Every sane person craves it.  If we have to live together, what does it say about you to mess anyone's up?

The Reset

I've been wearing out Prince's 1999 lately.  Against that backdrop is the reset we are experiencing in society.  I had to cancel today's radio show due to being a victim of the reset.  It's a trip.  And very exasperating riddled with angst and anxiety.  And they wonder why people resort to mind-altering substances? Not that I have beyond watching a good television show and listening to some Prince, but the hell are they thinking?  Maybe that's what they want you to do.  If you've read Brave New World, you know about the drug soma that induces inactivity and apathy. 

So they kick a mug out of his job and now want his crib, too?  But they want you to consume at the same rate they induced you to do.   They don't want to pay you but want you to pay yesterday's prices to keep a crib over your head?  Gas prices have crept back up along with the cost of food.  Where do they think you're getting the money?

And so they get mad when folk engage strategic default.  I read somewhere that they shouldn't be concerned about terrorists but whether people will wake up and make astute economic decisions.  Is that why the banks claimed the sky was falling?  

Like Prince said, albeit in a different context, "Something In the Water Does Not Compute."  The way this society is going might lead to some kind of revolution.  Because greedy theft and deprivation of the consumer is inconsistent.  You can keep squeezing but there comes a breaking point, a point where there's a burst.  Not advocating a riot but keep pushing those buttons and you might get one.

I mean really.  You keep taking away a person's means to survive with no relief.  You keep pushing at a person's self-respect.  Most people can suck it up.  But when they have kids, now you are fucking with people in the wrong manner.   What do you think they are going to do?  And how do you think the kids are going to feel?  We are not living on the Gaza Strip, you know.  And you see what that's gotten greed, right?

I thought we lived in a society and economy of Change.  It looks like more of the same in yellow-face.  Did we sign up for this?

Raider Nation - The Bullshit of Tom Cable as a Physical Abuser

Okay, let's get one thing out of the way.  Violence against anyone is not condoned.  Domestic violence, where a dude uses his superior physical strength, is frowned on, shouldn't be done, is a display of mental weakness and insecurity, etc.  I'm liberal than a mug when it comes to women (uuuhhh don't take that the way I think you might, even though we confess to a continual fascination with feminine beauty and curves).

That said I'm smelling a rat when it comes to the latest allegations of domestic violence against Raiders head coach Tom Cable.  This is a story now?!  He's had the allegations of a physical assault against an assistant football coach hanging over his head since August.  I mean it's been in the news on a weekly, if not daily, basis since he allegedly broke this cat's jaw.

So approximately a week after those charges were dismissed, ESPN decides to air a report that he hit two of his former significant others, one his wife from 20 years ago?!  This information, if true, makes the timing suspicious.  These are not new allegations.  They were in the public domain in August and up until the assault charges were dropped.  So why bring them up now?

And while I sympathize with the alleged victims, their day in court has long passed with no conviction of Cable.  And in this country, we're supposed to have the concept of double jeopardy meaning you can't be tried for the same crime twice.  In the literal and legal sense, Cable has not been tried for these crimes.  But that's not to say there wasn't the opportunity.  And so why seize the opportunity now?  Because it was a hot topic and it was your time to grab that 15 minutes of fame on ESPN?

Again, if true, I'm not co-signing Cable's actions.  But even if true, why bring it up now?  And why is ESPN airing the shit AFTER charges were dropped?  Do you see where I'm going with this?

Now NOW is involved.  Female sports columnists and reporters, particularly from the Bay Area, are Jane-On-The-Spot with this topic.  Like vultures and/or sharks, they seized the moment to pounce on vulnerable prey.

So again, my point to you.  This was information in the public domain for years.  This was information in the public domain when Cable was named the Raiders O-Line coach.  In the public domain when Cable was named the Raiders interim head coach.  In the public domain after he was named the Raiders permanent head coach.  In the public domain when Randy Hanson claimed Cable beat his ass and broke his jaw.

Further, ESPN has an investigative arm to its news organization.  ESPN has deep Jacques Cousteau pockets.  ESPN is into 24/7 news.  And this only recently  became a news story?!  After assault charges were dropped?!  You see where I'm going with this?!

I don't know what happened between Cable and his former wife and ex-girlfriend.  I do know that there are two sides to every story and the Truth usually falls in the middle of those perspectives.  I do know that it takes a complete psycho obsessive-compulsive liar (and I've been the victim of one, who, coincidentally, works for ESPN) to completely make that kind of shit up.  But relationships are complicated.  And a physical reaction may have been precipitated by some rancor.  Does that condone a violent reaction?  Hell no!  But it points to communication problems and trust issues. Unless and until you get control of those issues along with your own insecurity, you may be prone that these kinds of episodes.

But what you don't do is publicly drag down a person who is trying their best to excel in a profession.  He may or may not need help with his temper.  But don't back-door the issue.  Especially on ESPN.  I'll tell you what.  If the allegations are true, I have no sympathy for the victims.  Why?  Because of the timing and public nature of it.  As a lawyer, I know this is a set-up for a hand out.

Tom, just coach a better game and let's get it on with some football excitement.